The “It’s All Kuff, Bruv” Goon Squad Strike Again At The Global Peace & Unity Event 2010

Everytime, every Sunday of the Global Peace & Unity event you’ll find these “holier than thou Al-Muhajagoons” turn up outside the excel centre and pass takfir on everyone attending. I didn’t need to record them, they did it themselves for you.

Enjoy how it goes down:

A bunch of guys of various beard lengths warning people not to enter the GPU event.

First out to bat they interview little & large who for some reason went into the event to look at young girls dancing to nasheeds whilst mixing with strange men (presumably that includes themselves). Large seemed visibly disturbed by the experience whilst little (trendy spikey haircut) seemed to be grinning like someone who’s been caught peeking.

Next the bandana wearing anti GPU’ist is telling a topi wearing pro GPU attendee, (none other than nasheed superstar Zain Bhikha…and an angry looking associate of his) that you can’t argue with the words of the Prophet (PBUH) or the Quran (no, just their own interpretation of it). Bandana man is also not happy that their sisters (who are obviously cursed sinners) are being to sung to by non-mahram men (would it be less weird for related men to do it??)

Then a lieutenant type anti GPU’ist is lecturing about shariah to a confused rio ferdinand lookalike.

Meanwhile, in the background an elite commando from the pakistani secret services talks to a near-motionless arab sheikh.

The footage switches to designer specs ringleader guy who says democracy is kuffar, gpu is kuffar, islam channel is kuffar, everything is kuffar! (everything except specsavers probably, and the lovely women that work their).

Before you now it a random elderly asian uncle (pretty sure he does bbc comedy sketches) is writing a list of their complaints and authoritatively reading everything back to them to chants of innit and yeah-man.

100% unclear why he’s doing this but I’m sure his chai & samosa’s are getting cold at home.

Lastly, the “I can’t believe its not kufr” bro says he went inside the GPU event and couldn’t believe the jiggling and hypocrisy inside… that he voluntarily attended but then quickly denounced the GPU once accosted outside by serious looking men in beards.

You couldn’t make it up if you tried.

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Filed under Great Britain, Humour

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