The dangers of travelling whilst being a Muslim

Travelling & flying is no fun these days if you’re Muslim, and by the time you read this, I may have been raped (not rape rape obviously) by rapists masquerading as airport security.

Whoever said that the journey itself is better then arriving at your destination, obviously wasn’t a Muslim in a post 9/11 world. After all there’s no better place then to see racism (passenger profiling) in action then at your international airport.

I’ve written before about the political machinations that affect Muslims while we try to catch a flight, “Flying While Muslim To Be Made A Crime” and even gave you my eye witness account of the typical occurrences when I flew out to China.

So while I’ve been taking my shoes and socks off, dumping my bottle of water, being felt up by a security perv, being chemically swabbed and having my underpants X-rayed at airports, all the “terrorists” really have to do is to send their “bomb” via post.

There have been many an attempt by the American military industrial complex to manufacture yet another terrorist scare.

Explosive devices that are sent to politicians and actually explode at their intended destinations causing serious injury and damage are under-reported in the media.

Maybe because it’s your cuddly anarchist types that are responsible and not those bushy bearded Muslamic types.

This time round when I’m flying, I may take a more belligerent approach, the 9/11 trump card doesn’t work any more.

Before or during being randomly pulled out of the line, I may well tell my would be rapist;

“Do I get to pick the screener?.. I’ll take that Guy, he has nice firm hands.”

“I feel like I should buy you dinner after this.”

“I feel like I under performed, can we go again?

“I expect a couple phone numbers after this show.”

“Sorry about the funk. The doctor says the Yeast Infection should go away within a few weeks.”

“Your mother does it much better”

“Since you are going to be feeling me up do you mind changing my diaper while you do so?”

“Careful, that’s my colostomy bag”

Or I may do it like it was done in the video above….wonder if that’s an arrestable offence?

But then again, I have the most popular name on this planet by logical rational it must appear on a few lists. I understand how all our names sound the same to whitey & that we all look the same. The last thing I want is to be on a flight to Guantanamo, Baghram or whatever hell hole is being used to torture Muslims these days.

So when my rapist tells me to squeal like a pig I may just have to grudgingly oblige.

After all, us clever Muslims are taught not to get involved with politics by the man at the masajid, (who most of the time happens to be your local councillor) so we either keep our mouths shut and bendover for whitey, or we do something about it.

The Akh is currently away, he may or may not have been raped and is currently working on a plantation, picking bananas & returns sometime in January 2012

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2 Comments

Filed under Experiences, Great Britain, Humour, Islamophobia, My Travels, Racism, UK politics

2 responses to “The dangers of travelling whilst being a Muslim

  1. As Salaam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

    I absolutely detest flying. I don’t think security professionals have ever missed an opportunity to give me a once over.

    I was asked by the department of homeland security if I was carrying alcohol, meat and what mosque I went to three times in under two minutes. I was the only one stopped and interrogated even though I was the just about only American citizen on the plane (the rest where Chinese nationals). The guy even had the nerve to ask me how long I was going to be in the country.

    Another guy told me I’m not allowed to travel to France…

    I hate flying.

  2. Pingback: Creating the Terror Threat: CIA & Al-Qaeda’s Underwear Bomber V.2.0 |

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