Category Archives: Humour

Q: Why do politicised comedians get sacked from the BBC? A: For criticising foreign policy & Israel

I’ve been reading Frankie Boyle’s latest book “Work! Consume! Die!” & it’s opening chapter deals with Britains foreign policy in a manner in which no other current stand up comic will do.

After all it was Frankie Boyle’s political satire on Israel that got him sacked from the Beeb.

Frankie Boyle criticised the ‘cowardly’ BBC for its Israel joke apology, stating in a full written statement:

“I think the problem here is that the show’s producers will have thought that Israel, an aggressive, terrorist state with a nuclear arsenal was an appropriate target for satire. The Trust’s ruling is essentially a note from their line managers. It says that if you imagine that a state busily going about the destruction of an entire people is fair game, you are mistaken. Israel is out of bounds.

The BBC refused to broadcast a humanitarian appeal in 2009 to help residents of Gaza rebuild their homes. It’s tragic for such a great institution but it is now cravenly afraid of giving offence and vulnerable to any kind of well drilled lobbying.”

The man himself said in a recent interview that: “safe middle-class comedy such as Have I Got News For You, is everything that’s wrong” at the BBC.

I tend to agree with him.

Have a read of what he has to say in the following excerpts from his book, and ask yourself if any of these would ever make it into any of the shows that pass themselves of as political satire comedy programmes.

The content of popular culture today in the mainstream is designed to be unchallenging, corny and weak, so the masses can take their hit without having to think and just like crack, it has an immediate high and leaves you coming back for more.

It is precisely why you get crap like Michael McIntyre and John Bishop being promoted to prime time, as they offer poor observational witterings on banal subjects like the school run. Any content that will challenge your thought process will either be shelved or given the midnight slot.

Work, consume, die, that’s all the system wants from you.

Work like a rat, consume crap that you don’t need, with money that you don’t have and then die.

The Akh is currently away and is working on a plantation picking bananas. He is developing a taste for tamales colorados and returns sometime in January 2012


Filed under Arts & Media, Book Review, Great Britain, Humour, Media Ownership & Control

The dangers of travelling whilst being a Muslim

Travelling & flying is no fun these days if you’re Muslim, and by the time you read this, I may have been raped (not rape rape obviously) by rapists masquerading as airport security.

Whoever said that the journey itself is better then arriving at your destination, obviously wasn’t a Muslim in a post 9/11 world. After all there’s no better place then to see racism (passenger profiling) in action then at your international airport.

I’ve written before about the political machinations that affect Muslims while we try to catch a flight, “Flying While Muslim To Be Made A Crime” and even gave you my eye witness account of the typical occurrences when I flew out to China.

So while I’ve been taking my shoes and socks off, dumping my bottle of water, being felt up by a security perv, being chemically swabbed and having my underpants X-rayed at airports, all the “terrorists” really have to do is to send their “bomb” via post.

There have been many an attempt by the American military industrial complex to manufacture yet another terrorist scare.

Explosive devices that are sent to politicians and actually explode at their intended destinations causing serious injury and damage are under-reported in the media.

Maybe because it’s your cuddly anarchist types that are responsible and not those bushy bearded Muslamic types.

This time round when I’m flying, I may take a more belligerent approach, the 9/11 trump card doesn’t work any more.

Before or during being randomly pulled out of the line, I may well tell my would be rapist;

“Do I get to pick the screener?.. I’ll take that Guy, he has nice firm hands.”

“I feel like I should buy you dinner after this.”

“I feel like I under performed, can we go again?

“I expect a couple phone numbers after this show.”

“Sorry about the funk. The doctor says the Yeast Infection should go away within a few weeks.”

“Your mother does it much better”

“Since you are going to be feeling me up do you mind changing my diaper while you do so?”

“Careful, that’s my colostomy bag”

Or I may do it like it was done in the video above….wonder if that’s an arrestable offence?

But then again, I have the most popular name on this planet by logical rational it must appear on a few lists. I understand how all our names sound the same to whitey & that we all look the same. The last thing I want is to be on a flight to Guantanamo, Baghram or whatever hell hole is being used to torture Muslims these days.

So when my rapist tells me to squeal like a pig I may just have to grudgingly oblige.

After all, us clever Muslims are taught not to get involved with politics by the man at the masajid, (who most of the time happens to be your local councillor) so we either keep our mouths shut and bendover for whitey, or we do something about it.

The Akh is currently away, he may or may not have been raped and is currently working on a plantation, picking bananas & returns sometime in January 2012


Filed under Experiences, Great Britain, Humour, Islamophobia, My Travels, Racism, UK politics

Americans being arrested for dancing…..So much for freedom!

America, the land of the free, the country that gushes its values of freedom of expression to the rest of the world, but if you try and dance in a public space, FiveO will body slam, choke and arrest you.

Then again I’ve seen enough white people dancing to know that their “dancing” is a crime against humanity, so perhaps justice is being served.

You gotta love RussiaToday for having the balls to orchestrate such moves against the US, did the cold war ever end?

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Filed under Humour, Police State, Western Hypocrisy

The Queen might be in Ireland, but who’s better, the Taliban or the IRA?

Have you always wanted to know who was the ultimate freedom fighter/terrorist group? This video breaks down exactly what would happen if the Taliban and the IRA were to go up against one another.

Despite what you think, the IRA have never really gone away, this weeks bomb threat proved that, and the whole world has been fighting the Taliban for more than ten years and they are still alive and kicking.

Now I like the IRA, but I also like the Taliban.

But which ones better?

There’s only one way to find out.

Cue the video from deadliest warrior and FIGHT!!!

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Filed under Humour, Media Highlight of the Week, Terrorism

Dmitri says “Don’t be beech….be Russian”

Dmitri is a Russian that has too much time on his hands and a love for guns, all types of guns, big and small, and just like Top Gear review cars, this guy reviews guns.

His YouTube page is a (non-intended) hilarious collection of gun reviews.

Just like Dmitri says “Don’t be beech….” before he gets double pepper sprayed in the face.

Thankfully we don’t live in America where you can roll in to do your weekly supermarket shop and buy a machine gun along with your can of beans….guess that there are still plenty of people with a Rambo fetish out there.

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Filed under Humour

Hilarious video as Jon Stewart bids goodbye to Glenn Beck – “They dropped his ass”

This hilarious video from the Daily Show’s Jon Stewart is aimed at Glenn Beck, who was finally sacked from his position as head loony at Rupert Murdoch’s “Fix News” station.

If you’ve ever been in America and had the misfortune to see the vile propaganda that comes from the fox network, then you’ll be as happy as The Akh is to see the back of Beck.

Stewart said goodbye in his own fashion to the paranoid loudmouth by reviving his famed, equally conspiratorial impersonation of Beck. It’s not the first time Stewart laid into Beck;

It wasn’t entirely his loony theories that got Beck fired.

It was the pressure campaign that was mounted on fox that saw them lose a million viewers, more than 300 lost advertisers and widespread criticism that all added up to a disastrous business model.

This clip from Charlie Brookers Newswipe shows America’s “news” network at it’s finest:

Rupert Murdoch’s media empire has been caught on the backfoot, while all the phone tapping scandal’s continue to play out in the UK, his chief cheerleader gets sacked in the US.

Said thing is, Beck will probably go set up his own show elsewhere, most probably an Alex Jones style show which batshit right wing republicans will fund and lap up.

Beck for president in 2012?

No more crazy than a washed up actor like Reagan running for presidency.

Only in America

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Filed under Arts & Media, Humour, Media Highlight of the Week, Media Ownership & Control

Have you ever seen this happening in a Masajid?

If anyone can explain what this is all about, then please do drop me a line.

Either he’s curing their epileptic fits or they’re auditioning for the next round of Barelvi’s got talent.


Filed under Humour